Fun in America |
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In Minneapolis This was my second voyage to the new world. My first was back in the early 1970's as a student. This time I was going as a guest speaker at some Uni. in the Midwest. The odd thing about people in the Midwest of the United States is that many of them, noticing my accent, seem to think I'm either from Boston or that I'm mentally deficient. I'll order something at a kiosk or ask directions to the nearest taxi stand and the person I'm speaking to will look mildly annoyed and begin to speak louder and much...more...slowly. |
In Columbus One of my evil pleasures when traveling abroad in countries such as the United States, France or Germany is to wear my kilt and rrrrreallly rrrrroll my aRrrrrrr's when I speak. I mean rrrrrrrrrrrreally rrrrrrrrrrrrroll them. I roll them to the point that I can not be understood by anyone, including other Scotsmen. This is great fun in Germany. It's even more fun in airport bars in America. It was Sunday and there were many people stranded due to flight delays (heavy snowfall). The big American Football Championship game was over and everyone was in a good |
I say to the barman,"Ach
and begorrrrrah...would ya be havin' anythen ferrrrrr ah parrrrrched man ta quench
'is thirrrrrrrrst?" I have to try very hard to keep from laughing as I
say this.The barman holds up a bottle of Budweiser and says,"Do... you...
want... a... beer?" I nod enthusiastically and hand him a fiver. A crowd has gathered around me now...just close enough to hear what the the barman and I are saying. I hear someone say of me that I must be from England. I nearly spit beer through my nose. To most Americans the UK and England are interchangeable terms. |
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mood and a little drunk. So I go into the airport bar and order a pint of bitter. I know full and well that they have no such thing and that the man behind the bar has no idea what I am talking about (Americans only drink lagers). "What? What..is... that... you're...saying," asks the barman in a loud... and... slow... voice. This attracts the attention of most of the bar's patrons. |
Also most Americans think
that all english speaking foriegners are English. If I point out that I am from
Scotland this strange look falls on their faces. They are at a loss. Some
inquire about the King or Queen of Scotland. Some compliment me on my command of
english. Other will ask if I have even seen the Loch Ness Monster. On this occasion I get a bar full of stranded travelers to engage in a group sing along. |
